Overwhelm can be easy to come by. It will wrap us up as we ponder events of the past or plans for the future — a sticky web that can prove challenging to escape. If we allow it, it will cling to our subconscious and we’ll carry it around for years. The way out is by opening ourselves up to our experience. What surrounds us right now? Be still, open our eyes wide, and we will find beauty everywhere.
During an intense self-therapy session (and the help of my dear love), I discovered that I’ve spent the majority of my life unconsciously carrying baggage related to past trauma. Upon realizing this, I stared directly into it. I spent hours time traveling to the past, watching it shape my thoughts and permeate my relationships. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life — to look directly at the source and witness its control over all of my interactions.
I let this happen. For decades.
Upon returning to the present, I opened my eyes wide. I found myself surrounded by beauty, by love. Finally having stripped away my fears — that source — gratitude was all that was left.
This has changed me in ways I am struggling to describe. In the days following this epiphany, I’ve immersed myself in each moment, fully grateful for each experience.
No longer stuck in the web of the past or clouds of the future, all of my senses have the freedom to dance. Colors are more vibrant. I can truly appreciate the photons from our Star, which are reflecting off of the water and into my eyes.
How lucky that we get to record each fleeting wave. Our lives, the culmination of all of our experiences, will be whatever we make of them.
For the first time, I feel truly free.
“We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself.” – Carl Sagan